Elizabeth Scalia has written an insightful article at First Things, http://www.firstthings.com/onthesquare/2013/10/when-no-one-wants-to-raise-the-parents.

She makes the point that we must, as adults with offspring, act as grownups and live for our children. Of course, we are all ill-equipped for this when we begin. Nearly all of us manage if we try. Some become quite good at it.

“A parent becomes [a parent] within the act of learning to be a family-unit, amid the constantly changing dynamics of individuals advancing through life-stages together. One could argue that as parents raise the children, the children, quite paradoxically, raise the parents. When parents resist being raised, families break down and collapse.”

We learn while we do, and one of the most important things we must know from the very beginning is that we are each individuals. We each are that special one. From the beginning, we are in a relationship with our child. Mothers have a relationship distinct from fathers. Mother knows the child from conception. Mother is affected by the child directly from the beginning and much more than Father.

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